From Brokenness to Blessings

Dear Readers -

Summer typically includes swimming, sandals, and sunscreen, but that’s not the case for everyone. Without a doubt the summer of 1984, the year my marriage died, was the worst of my life. Pain, fear, anger and loneliness instantly invaded my life like a tsunami. And although that  was more than 24 years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday.

My ten year high school reunion was that summer. I was certain the big “D” branded on my forehead announced to the world that I couldn’t hold onto a husband. The guilt, shame and trauma of divorce nearly killed me. But now that wound serves a higher calling.

In February, 2008 Laura trained more than 60 people in South Africa on how to start and maintain a healthy divorce recovery ministry.

When ‘I Do’ Becomes ‘I Don’t’—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce is another way God is turning my experience into a blessing for others.This resource answers the most frequently asked questions concerning separation and divorce including:

• If my spouse asks for forgiveness, should I go back?
• If I get an attorney, will my spouse think I'm giving up on our marriage forever?
• How do I figure out a budget on my own?
• What should I do when others criticize my ex-spouse in front of my kids?
• How will I know when it's a good time to date again?
• Will I ever be happy again?
• How does a person over 50 cope with divorce?
• I’m in a second divorce—Why did this happen again?

An up-to-date resource list is included as well as a divorce prevention chapter for pastors and leaders. This book can be used individually or with a small group. Study guide questions are provided at the end of each chapter.

I'm eager to watch God work!

Under Grace -

My Marriage Died -
But I Can't Find The Funeral
by Laura Petherbridge

I hadn’t expected Saturday, April 7th, 1984, to be an extraordinary day. I was getting all “gussied up” to attend a women’s luncheon with my mom and some friends. But I never made it to the event. The anticipated laughter of the day changed to lamenting. I started crying that morning and didn’t stop for a very long time.

Looking back, I now see many obvious indicators that something was terribly wrong with my marriage, but for some reason, at the time, I couldn’t recognize them. The change in my husband’s personality was...[read more]

AN EXCERPT FROM:

Click here to order your book

Someone I Love Is Divorcing
What Should I Do?

by Laura Petherbridge

“My mother said if I had been a better housekeeper my husband wouldn’t have left me for another woman,” the young woman said, weeping uncontrollably. Overnight she discovered that everything she believed about her marriage and husband was a lie. He had a secret life complete with a private bank account and lover. 

As life spun out of control she sought reassurance from her mother’s arms. But instead of receiving consolation, her mother’s piercing words plunged a knife more deeply into her already battered heart. Better spaghetti sauce or a cleaner toilet was not going to repair this marriage. Her mom was wrong.

If this lady’s husband had...[click here to read]

I think there is something wrong in my marriage. My spouse is suddenly acting strange and I suspect an affair. What should I do?

The first thing I recommend is ask God to reveal the truth. God desires truth in your life, his very nature is holiness—free from deceit. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” I’ve met numerous people in your situation. When they asked God to reveal the problem, He was faithful to do so in various and creative ways.

Second, without anger or accusation share with your spouse your concerns. If there is sin involved he or she may lie, but you must open the door for communication. Be willing to listen to the response. Yet understand that a person who is sinning in a marriage often says, “I’m just not happy anymore, I’m very confused right now, or I think we made a mistake by getting married.” It’s common to justify the behavior because it helps to ease his or her conscience. 

Third, ask a Godly same-sex friend to hear your concerns. It may be necessary to get an objective outside opinion from someone who isn’t emotionally involved.

Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt, but don’t ignore warning signs or “red flags.” If you stay close to the Lord, and seek Him in this situation He will show you what is really happening. The key is to stay open to the truth. Denial or ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away.

Using a “Do’s and Don’ts” format, this workshop is designed for friends, family members, or co-workers who know someone experiencing separation or divorce. Filled with practical advice on topics such as: Finances, Children, Legal issues, Emotional stress, Biblical insight, Handling the holidays and visitation.

Click Here for more about this topic.

Resource
Give-Away Contest

Julie Berchtold, of St Michael Lutheran Church in Ft Myers, FL was the winner of last month’s book giveaway. Congratulations, Julie!

July’s Resource Give-Away Contest winner will receive my new book, When ‘I Do’ Becomes ‘I Don’t’—Practical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce. 

Be the 12th person to contact me. To enter this month's Resource Give-Away Contest, enter simply by contacting me.

Did You Know...

Almost 20 million Americans are currently divorced.  ( U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006)

There were 2.3 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces in 2005. (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006) 

85% of the U.S. population will marry at least once.  (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2006)